I can’t think of a time when you looked less alive || Madam 

bulletformymaya:

“Mhmmm I’m sure I will” she said smiling up at him. “I don’t know… do you have me?” Maya asked giving the brunette boy a strange look. She however erupted into a fit of giggles almost instantly. She smiled slightly when Adam gave her a peck on the lips. Honestly the cellist wanted to kiss him like she had on the rooftops when they’d first gotten together, but of course she couldn’t. They were standing in the hall of her house and at any second her parents could come along and see them. The musician couldn’t help but laugh when she heard Adam say that she was wonderful. “Don’t you mean epic? I am your epic Envy after all” she said hoping to lighten the mood just a bit. The blonde girl could feel her boyfriend pressing kisses all over her head and it helped her calm down slightly. She listened as he spoke and buried her face back into the crook of his neck. “My thoughts are so muddy when I take those pills, and they won’t take me off of them. I’m scared of talking to someone, Adam. I’m really fucking scared” she whispered wrapping her arms around him a bit tighter. “I’m hurting you… I didn’t mean too… I didn’t want to hurt you I didn’t want to hurt anyone” she murmured. Maya watched as Adam walked over to her and sat down next to her on the bed. She gave him a watery smile when he caressed her hand with his thumb. When the gamer spoke again she looked down at her stomach once again and sighed. She gently pulled her hand out of Adam’s and hooked her fingers under the bottom of the hoodie and pulled it off. Her blue eyes settled on her stomach again and she bit her lip. “I know…” she whispered. She ran her fingers over the fabric of her t-shirt and looked up at Adam. “I want to get better.. for me… for you… I don’t want to hurt anybody else” she whispered.

The brunette shrugged and raised his eyebrows questioningly as he looked at Maya. “You tell me.” He said simply and shot her a smile; something that he seemed to be doing quite frequently when he was around her. A warm feeling spread inside of Adam as he heard her laugh, because despite the sad look on her face at least she was able to let out a chuckle that actually sounded genuine.  “Of course, how could I forget that?” He smiled weakly and pulled her closer into the hug with a sigh. He didn’t sigh because of her or because of the subject, but due to the messy situation that had occurred. The boy really did want to help, but he felt helpless as Maya spoke about the pain she was in. He really hated seeing her this… Well, broken. “I know you’re scared, and it’s okay to be. But you do need to tell someone, or else it will only get worse.” He said quietly as he continued caressing her hair and almost unnoticeably rocking her back and forth in his arms. “Besides, you shouldn’t don’t apologize; it’s not your fault.” Adam carefully watched as the blonde removed his old hoodie from her small frame. She was even tinier than he’d expected and he felt a sudden sting in his heart, but he chose to ignored it since this wasn’t about him. It was about Maya. His facial expression softened as she looked up at him and spoke, a smile even appeared on his lips and he nodded slowly. “That’s really good Maya, and know that I’ll help you in any way possible.” The brown-haired boy said, keeping that same smile on his face as he did so. He leaned down to gently place a soft kiss upon the girl’s lips, it didn’t last for a very long time but it was enough to send butterflies to his stomach.

(Source: thatoneadamtorres)

I can’t think of a time when you looked less alive || Madam 

bulletformymaya:

Don’t you dare take my Dead Hand shirts away from me! Maya couldn’t help but giggle at Adam’s reaction. “Awww not even one?” she asked looking up at him with puppy dog eyes. She chuckled and shook her head before smiling up at him. “Alright alright I’ll find some other shirt I want to steal” she said softly. The blonde lifted a brow when her boyfriend started to complain about smelling like a girl. “You don’t like the way that I smell? Fine then I’ll keep my clothes and you won’t have anything of mine to make you think of me” she scoffed barely managing to keep a smile off her lips. The cellist shook her head when Adam spoke again and looked down. “I’ve already been enough of a mess for them Adam. I’m depressed and off my medication which they don’t know about. Which honestly it doesn’t matter because I’m better I don’t need the meds. Now I’ve developed an eating disorder how can they not hate me for this?” she asked her voice breaking in the process. Maya couldn’t stand the thought of her parents knowing about the eating disorder. It scared her to no end. She’d seen first hand what an eating disorder did to a person. She’d watched her big sister suffer, and also saw how it effected their parents. The musician didn’t want to put them through that again. Tears began to escape from her blue eyes faster as Adam started stroking her hair. Maya felt awful for doing this to him and she felt even worse when she could hear the pain in his voice. “I’m sorry” she murmured softly. A whimper escaped the blonde’s lips when the brunette began to untangle them. Once Adam led them upstairs the youngest Matlin shut the door to her room behind them and sat down on her bed. “I was just supposed to lose a few pounds just so my jeans would fit right. But when I looked in the mirror nothing changed… actually it just looked like I was gaining more weight” she admitted shaking her head as tears started to form in her eyes once again. Absentmindedly Maya tugged the hoodie closer to her body and placed one of her hands on her stomach chewing on her lip as she looked down at it.

Adam shook his head violently with a stubborn expression, but he couldn’t help a light chuckle for leaving his lips. “I’m sure you’ll find something.” He grinned in reply before a smug look appeared on his face. “I do have you, don’t I?” He asked softly, leaning forward to softly peck her lips. It didn’t last for very long though, he didn’t exactly want her parents to walk by in a moment like that. The boy was a bit taken back of all the sudden information that he just now received, information that he earlier had no idea about. He tried not to think about it too much though, since it wasn’t what this was currently about; it was about helping his girlfriend dealing with one of the most difficult things of her life. “Because you’re their daughter, and because you’re the most wonderful human being that I’ve ever had the chance to meet.” The brunette spoke quietly against her forehead as he continued to rock her back and forth. “But you do need to take you medications though, and you do need to tell someone about this.” A small sigh left his lips and he placed small kisses on her head in order to calm Maya down, he couldn’t just leave this be. “I just don’t want to loose you, but don’t apologize.” Adam added weakly, squeezing the girl tighter in his arms. Once upstairs, he went over to the bed where she was already sitting and placed himself next to her. He took the blonde’s hand in his own and started caressing the back of it with his thumb. “Maya…” He began, not really sure of how to talk to her without making things worse. “You have lost weight, quite a lot actually. And I’m not just saying that.” He glanced over at the girl with a whole lot of worry in his eyes, even though he tried not to make it show. 

(Source: thatoneadamtorres)

I can’t think of a time when you looked less alive || Madam 

bulletformymaya:

“Well then next time I’m at your house I’m so stealing one of your Dead Hand shirts.” Maya smirked her heart fluttering when he placed a kiss on her lips. “Nope none of my underwear for you, sir. Although I think I might have some old over-sized flannel shirts I used to wear when like I was into the whole grunge thing. I think they might fit you. If you want one you can have it” she said with a shrug. “Standing here with you sounds like absolutely perfect, but my feet might start hurting. So we should at least either move to the couch or my room. Think you decide on a place?” the blonde girl asked with a small smile. Maya noticed the cheeky grin that grew on Adam’s lips and couldn’t help but smile herself and kiss them. The cellist listened to her boyfriend as she spoke and tears stung her eyes. “Adam they’ll hate me. This would make daughter number two with an eating disorder” she said her voice breaking. Maya didn’t know if Adam knew of Katie’s eating disorder or if he thought it was just a rumor but it barely phased her that she’d let out her sister’s secret. When Adam took her in his arms the cellist did as she had been wanting to and buried her face in the crook of his neck. “I’m not beautiful. Adam have you seen my sisters? Or hell have you even seen my best friend? I’m the runt. The ugly duckling” she cried into his shoulder. Maya had never really voiced her insecurities about her sisters before maybe once or twice but she couldn’t really recall them. “I don’t want to feel like this anymore, but I don’t know what else to do. I don’t want to get any fatter. I’m so tired of all of this, but I can’t stop thinking about it” the petite blonde cried as she wrapped her arms around the brunette a little tighter. “Can we go to my room, please?” Maya asked when she realized that they were standing in the hall and anyone could come a long at any second and see her breaking down on him.

A gasp escaped Adam’s lips and he looked at his girlfriend with wide eyes. “Don’t you dare take my Dead Hand shirts away from me!” He exclaimed with a faint head-shake. He was fully aware of that she was probably just teasing him and even though he was exaggerating on purpose, most of his reaction had some kind of truth behind it. Those shirts were his most valuable belongings, not because they were expensive really but because of the emotional value that they had. He knew just how much of a music geek he came across as right now, not that he minded seeing as Maya was even more interested in it than he was. “But then I will smell like a girl.” The boy scoffed teasingly and crinkled his nose. “A very fragrant one, but still a girl.” With those words, another chuckle came from his mouth. He wouldn’t really mind wearing some of her clothes though, but he doubted that they would fit him. Even if they were far too big on the blonde’s frame. He shrugged hesitantly as he was trying to figure out where the two should go, he really had some troubles with making decisions and always needed some extra time to think about it. “Maya, they won’t love you any less just because of that.” Adam said softly as he tried to comfort the girl, he refrained from mention anything about Katie though despite the fact that he didn’t know about her having an eating disorder as well. Of course, he had heard rumours about it but he tried to avoid them on any cause. Although this time, they had actually turned out to be true. Not that it changed anything though, of course not. The brunette began to stroke her hair softly and continuously pressed his lips lightly against her head. “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, you have to believe that.” He murmured with pain showing in his voice, he didn’t know what to do in order to make her feel better. Well, he knew that he couldn’t and that was what bothered him. “Sure, we’ll go upstairs.” Adam continued and untangled the couple, only so that he seconds later could reach for her hand and begin to walk towards the younger girl’s room.

(Source: thatoneadamtorres)

I can’t think of a time when you looked less alive || Madam 

bulletformymaya:

“Well then if yo’re going to let me borrow some of them then prepare to see me in them quite often, because if I love them half as much as this hoodie I’ll be wearing them most of the time” Maya said with a small smile. It was the truth she loved the hoodie because it reminded her of him and it felt like he was there with her. “You could have something of mine if you like” she chuckled but smirked slight. “Under garments are out of the question though” she added. Maya laughed and shook her head at the brunette boy when he pouted. “Mhmmm and you know I’m not good at making choices either my dear Neil” she murmured.  The blonde could feel Adam moving closer to her and she didn’t shy away. Hesitantly her eyes flickered up to him when he placed a hand on her arm. As the gamer began to speak the youngest Matlin started to feel guilty. She noticed the pained look on his face and felt tears begin to prick at her eyes. She’d caused the pain and Maya felt horrible about it. “I… I can’t see someone about this Adam” she said her voice cracking. “My parents can’t know that I have…” the cellist trailed off. She couldn’t bring herself to say those two words. If she actually said them out loud it made things real. She’d be admitting that something actually was wrong with her. “T-t-that I have an…” Maya gulped and looked down “eating disorder.” The realization was finally starting to sink in and she wanted nothing more than to bury her face in the crook of Adam’s neck and cry. The blonde was too afraid to do that however and merely wrapped her arms around herself tighter. “I’ve seen what an eating disorder can do to someone. I knew better than to start down this road, but I did. Adam they’ll hate me or be disappointed I just can’t” she said shaking her head.

“I don’t mind if you do.” Adam smiled softly and placed a small kiss on the girl’s lips, but right after that he chuckled at her suggestion. “Damn it, I was really expecting to have some of your underwear.” He smirked and teased her by sticking his tongue out towards here. The boy sighed and shook his head slowly, slightly exaggerating his disappointment. “Then I’ll guess we’ll just be standing here all day.” He spoke with his voice full of fake letdown as he once again pouted, although he couldn’t help the cheeky grin that was tugging on his lips from showing. The brunette bit his lower lip as Maya started talking, he knew what it was like wanting to avoid talking about your problems. He had been through it all when his mom first found out about his self harm which had caused a whole lot of drama around the house, but it had been worth it in the end. He just had to convince his girlfriend that as well. “Trust me, I know how bad you may feel about it but it’s not your fault.” He said quietly and watched the girl with the same pained expression. Not because he was judging her in any way, but it hurt him to see her that broken. “I promise that it’ll be worth it Maya, I promise that I’ll do whatever it takes to make you see just how beautiful you really are.” Adam continued, not turning his eyes away from hers for even a second. He could no longer keep his distance and instead he walked up to her and took her in his arms. “Please, I can’t just watch you disappear.” He murmured against her blonde hair as he rocked her back and forth with his arms closely wrapped around her. It may be cheesy, but he was going to do whatever it took in order to make her feel okay again.

(Source: thatoneadamtorres)

I can’t think of a time when you looked less alive || Madam 

bulletformymaya:

Maya smirked slight at Adam’s statement. “If you’re being serious I’m actually kind of happy about that” she chuckled. The blonde girl smiled when Adam pulled her in for a hug. The cellist could feel how uncomfortable the gamer seemed to feel and her heart dropped. He knew, Maya knew that he knew. I’ve missed you too. Normally the youngest Matlin would have grinned and made a witty remark, but she didn’t feel like it was the appropriate time to do so. “Hmm, well I’ll let you choose because I’m rather indecisive” the musician laughed. The brunette boy smiled and for a brief moment the young girl thought that maybe he would let things go, but apparently he wasn’t going to. Her blue eyes examined Adam’s face when he looked down. She noted the worry and furrowed her brows. You’ve gotten so small. A lump formed in her throat and she tried her hardest to swallow it. Maya backed away from her boyfriend and wrapped her arms around herself. She didn’t want to face the reality of Adam knowing. She didn’t want him to worry about her. Maya swallowed the lump in her throat and let out a shaky sigh. “I don’t see it… all I see this the fat on my stomach” she murmured unsure of what else to say. “It’s all I can think about” she admitted shaking her head.

Adam shrugged and tilted his head to the side. “Why not?” He said truthfully with a smile on his lips that had been caused by the chuckle that escaped Maya’s lips. The boy groaned as he was informed that the choice was up to him, he was the worst and making decisions and she knew that. “But you know that I can’t make such a hard choice!” He whined and pouted at the blonde. When she pulled away however, all the feelings of hurt came crashing down over him and he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want her to hurt but he couldn’t let her go on like this, she would end up broken and he couldn’t stand knowing that he didn’t do anything to help her. The taller boy hesitantly made his way over to Maya and put his hand up on her arm, he didn’t want to scare her off by approaching her too quickly at a time like this. A shaky breath left his lips when she spoke and he looked down at his feet, unable of forming any actual words. “Maya…” He began with a low voice and glanced up to where she stood. It broke him to see her like that when he didn’t know what he could do to help. “You need to see someone about this, because you’re not fat and nobody but you sees it like that.” Adam said and looked at her with a pained look on his face, he knew that he couldn’t get her to see that but he still felt like he needed to let her know.

(Source: thatoneadamtorres)

I can’t think of a time when you looked less alive || Madam 

bulletformymaya:

Maya smiled widely when Adam entered the house. A faint blush spread across her face when he gave her a peck on the cheek. Her stomach did a backflip and her smile grew a bit wider. Don’t you ever take off that hoodie? Before the blonde could a reply to small boy in her arms spoke for her. “Nope” he quipped grinning up at Adam. “He’s right I don’t. Sadly it’s starting to not smell like you anymore” she chuckled. The youngest Matlin adjusted her nephew so that it was easier for her to hold him. She smirked widely when Adam started talking to Aiden looking down to the little boy. “That’s me” he said happily pushing his thumb to his chest proudly. “You’re Auntie May’s Anakin she likes to kiss you a lot” he continued on grinning widely. “Ai” Maya yelped her blue eyes widening but it didn’t phase the young boy. “Are you a Jedi or a Sith? I don’t like Siths” Aiden asked interrogating the brunette. No doubt Katie’s work. “Alright young Skywalker it’s time for you to go play with Auntie Kay. I think she’s helping some Siths, go stop her” the cellist said before sitting the little boy down and sending him off in the direction of her sister’s room. A sight escaped her lips once the additional weight of Aiden was gone from her arms. Once the coast was clear Maya turned around to look at Adam with a small smile on her lips. “I’ve missed you” she murmured before leaning in and kissing him softly. “So what do we do on this fine day?” she murmured against his lips.

Adam chuckled at Aiden’s response before looking over at the girl who had just spoken. “I guess it won’t hurt to borrow you some of my other clothes as well then” He said with a wide grin, although he doubted that any of the garments he owned would fit Maya. Especially lately, since she seemed to be getting a whole lot smaller than she already was. He listened as the young boy started talking again and a smirk grew onto his lips as he gave away what he was obviously called around the Matlin household, not that he had any objections to the nickname. He was just about to answer Aiden when the blonde put him down and told him to go over to Katie, and as soon as he was out of sight Adam pulled her in for a hug. He noticed right away how tiny she felt in his arms, a lot more than before and it made him both scared and uncomfortable seeing as he didn’t know how to react. They’d already had a fight about this, but he couldn’t just leave it either. “I’ve missed you too.” He responded to the kiss and tried his best not to think about it. “I don’t know, whatever we feel like I suppose.” Adam said with a small smile and broke their lips apart before looking down at Maya with worry clearly showing on his face. “You’ve gotten so small.” He stated with a low voice and looked down at her frame as to prove his point.

(Source: thatoneadamtorres)

barney/robin quotes- season 7

(Source: bigschmidt, via bulletformymaya)

I’d love to, yeah!

bdeesousa:

Hey I’m capable of school spirit. Maybe I just went ‘cause I knew it’d support you and Dr. Doom. I’m sure there will be plenty of other school sanctioned events for me to skip out on later.

We could watch some at my place sometime. It’s kinda weird to be around Drew right now to be honest. He’s all caught up on Katie again so.. Oh well.

Well in that case, I’m flattered that you went out of your way only to show your great support for me and Eli!

Sure thing, your place it is then.

No problem, only telling the truth. (: